January 10, 2016
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Control the Fear

One of the most important foundation elements we all have to deal with is fear, stress and trepidation. These emotions have a strong impact on how we act and react to every situation we encounter during our lives and how we “embrace the suck”. Learning how to properly deal with these mind killers will help in wilderness, urban and the work place. In one way or another we face these three brothers every day. Some we have learned to deal with, some to ignore and even less have we conquered. How do we not only deal with them, but learn to overcome them and proceed stronger for having them?


The first step we need to take is to discover the truth and reality of our fears. To discover the unbiased truth we will have to take an uncompromising look into ourselves and our fear. Knowing the truth or your fear will allow you to attack it in focused purpose driven approach. The focus and goal of defeating your fear will aid you in your times of weakness and uncertainty, embrace the suck and make it your own.


Next, list your fears and know why you are listing them. Are the fears based in a physical reality? Are they in your mind? Have you experienced them before? If so, list out what happened and what changed you. Your are going to embrace the suck on a personal level. Are they fears in a realm that you have control over? Fearing the Russians will drill for more oil than you would like in their country is an example of a fear which you have no control over. A fear of public speaking or of spiders is something you have control over.


Then get the details of your life. Take an hour or two to think about what your days are like. No detail is too small. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? How do you tie your shoes?  How do you choose your clothes? Knowing the details of you day will allow you to be aware of things you control and what triggers your fear. Drawing a line back from a fear trigger to the details in your life is a powerful self-control exercise that can be felt immediately. If it takes a little bit of effort to embrace the suck in your personal life, it’s OK, that is how we grow.


Go learn the truth and gather real information about what you are dealing with directly from a source that has been where you are and where you want to be. Auto biographies and interviews are great sources of truth. Some times the truth we find is not pleasant. In those cases as in others we must find a way to embrace the suck.  Know that you are not alone people have gone before you with the same fears and you can learn from them. Be very careful about the information you select and always err on the side of unbiased truth. This should be information that is so complete, so truthful you can take action that will have positive results from the start.


Finally, you don’t have to go alone. Find someone who cares, a person who can support and who understands you and your struggle to conquer your fears. A person who can empathize with your journey and is willing to assist you in your times of need. Choose your buddy carefully and be thoughtful in your decision. Allow them to understand the seriousness of your intent. They will be able to share in your joy of overcoming a difficulty in your life. When you have people around you who will care for you and look after you it eases the stress of having to embrace the suck.


The purpose I am trying to outline is to regain control over a situation that is normally out of control, feels uncomfortable and affects my life negatively. We must find way to tip the scales in our favor.

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