Sooner or later we fall into a flat spot in our lives, a rut as it is sometimes called. When this happens it is natural for us to wonder why things feel like they are harder than they are harder than they should be.
We are the key to our own recovery. We have the power to change the way we feel by changing our mind and outlook. As you may have guessed by reading some of my other articles the mind has a power that is nearly mythological and it has the ability to determine our happiness. We have the capacity to train our mind to experience our life and day-to-day a different or specific way with a few mindset shifts.
Don’t stick to a happiness formula.
One of the best attribute of the human condition is that each of us in is unique. A formula that works for one may not work for all given there are so many differences between us. If we change the variables to any problem the solution become different and again unique. We all have different sets of variables in our lives. We build upon solid foundations and find keys to our own specific formula and follow it.
Define and catalog your priorities
A major obstacle in everyone’s life is getting to know yourself. This can be considered one of the first steps in discovering the key to your happiness. Take a look at what you do and how you do it with fresh eyes; with eyes free of criticism. Set your priorities and be mindful of who you are spending your time with and how you are spending it. It’s OK if your priorities change and shift overtime, they are dynamic. Because they are dynamic in nature make sure you are assessing yourself and your priorities often. Remembering not to focus on motivations, but discipline to achieve our objectives.
Reimagine purpose in your daily life
Your purpose can be thought of as the expression of the person you are. It includes your many jobs, roles and functions in your professional and personal life. Your purpose is not defined by your dream job at a dream company, although work can be part of it. Purpose is about whom you are and the effortless nature of expressing it. Finding and following your purpose brings you and the ones around your greater value and fulfillment. Apply who you are naturally, abilities and talents, in your personal and professional life. You will be driven by passion, intention and purpose.
Separate yourself from the need to be approved of by others.
Throughout your life you will have any number and types of relationships. Relationships, like most things we interact with are never static; they are dynamic and based on people, emotions and surroundings. Human nature compels us to search for connections to others; we strive for it most of our lives. We become unhappy in our various relationships when we operate and define then by others ability to meet our individual and internal expectations. We should be ourselves, be authentic in all that we do and find value in who we are and what we do rather that what others think of our personality, traits or talents. When we establish connections and relationships based on reality and limit our expectations we will be happy with ourselves. When we are happy with ourselves and people know who we are our relationships will be stronger and more fulfilling. No one can give you anything you cannot find in yourself. Connect with yourself and be authentic.
Determine the root of your anxiety.
Our society has come a long way. We have achieved technological marvels and discovered great mysteries of the cosmos, but we still are not very good and recognizing what drives our fight or flight responses. Are they real or imagined? Is it truly life threatening danger or is our awful boss or public speaking?
When we start to feel our mind and body responding with stress and anxiety we need to take the emotion out of it and look at it objectively. What is our body/mind trying to tell us? Why is the experience painful and is it real? When we can comprehend our anxiety and the outcome of our endeavors we can change the way we experience it.
Recognize that you are in control.
We all have things in our lives that distract us from living our lives when things get “too real”. They can be TV shows, food or other types of guilty pleasures. When things get hard our mind naturally directs us toward things that will provide us with enjoyment and temporary relief.
As innocent as they may seem on the surface these guilty pleasures can soon become addictions when we indulge our habits day after day. Addiction, put simply, is when you can no longer live life normally without the substance or action and partaking without regard to the consequences.
Work to understand your mindset, triggers and substitute comforts brought about by stress. This will help us help ourselves in getting out of our rut. Be real and authentic in your relationships and with yourself. When we give the people around us the real us we will grow stronger connections and pursue passions that will fill our lives with greater fulfillment.